


The Naming Of Ships is a Difficult Matter

by AestuumMaris



Series: Your Eyes Look Like Coming Home [1]
Category: Killjoys (TV)
Genre: Basically bouncing around space without much motivation yet, Dutch/Johnny pre-relationship or gen, Fluff, Gen, Plotless, Pre-Season/Series 01, baby rac agents, the early days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AestuumMaris/pseuds/AestuumMaris
Summary: A pair of useless rookie RAC agents walk into a space station. Nothing goes right.





	The Naming Of Ships is a Difficult Matter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Abbie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbie/gifts).



> Thanks to Abbie, who introduced me to the show and also to the ship. I hope you enjoy :P

Johnny tangled one hand in his hair and pulled hard. The other one was busy decrypting the lock on the console. "Literally everything about this is illegal."

“Well then, I guess we’ll just have to not get caught, hmm?” Dutch said, keeping an eye and a gun trained on the door. “And what _you’re_ doing isn’t illegal.”

“Listen, I always knew you were gonna get me killed, I just kinda hoped I wouldn’t get tortured beforehand.”

“Oh, John, what have I told you about setting unrealistic goals for yourself?”

“Haha, you’re so funny,” Johnny muttered. He pulled his left hand out of his hair and redoubled his efforts on the console.

An alarm started blaring. Johnny cursed.

Typical.

Dutch disappeared through the door as the sound of blaster fire filled the hallway.

“Come on, come on, come on,” Johnny begged the computer. Finally, it beeped. Johnny sucked in a deep breath and hurried through the files, copying them down.

Dutch ducked into the room, pressing herself against the wall while firing her blaster. “How’s it coming?”

“Not too bad, not too bad. I’ve got the files, I just have to kill the security protocols. Let me just...” he trailed off, typing furiously.

Dutch grunted and cursed, firing shot after shot. “Any day now!”

“Hey,” Johnny pointed a finger at her without looking, “not one iota of this plan was my idea, so you can just sit there and shoot the guards and stop rushing me.”

Dutch rolled her eyes. He didn’t see it, but he knew it happened. “Oh sure, Johnny, take your time. No worries, it’s not like we’re gonna be tortured and killed if we’re caught. I bet, if we’re really lucky, they’ll just peel our flesh from our bodies inch by inch. Or maybe they’ll poison us and our eyes will melt inside our—”

“Not helping!”

“Then work faster!”

“There,” Johnny shouted. “It’s done, okay, let’s go.”

“Thank the trees,” Dutch sighed. She fired off a few more shots before her gun jammed. “I’m out of ammo.” She peered into the hallway, cautious. The smoke stung her eyes, and she blinked hard. Then she blinked again. “And they’re out of guards.”

That was lucky. She strode through the hall warily.

Johnny appeared at her side. “I got the dock extended again. We’ve got maybe a five minute window before—” He broke off with a vicious curse. “What is _that_?”

Dutch didn’t have to look to know what he was talking about. “Ooh, are you gonna faint at the sight of blood? Need some smelling salts?”

“Shut up, Dutch,” Johnny muttered, looking at the wound in her side. She flicked him hard on the forehead. “ _Ow_.”

“Grow up, Johnny. I already cauterized it.”

“You’re literally insane, you know that?”

“Didn’t you?”

“I managed to forget for about one whole week, which I think is a new record for us.”

Dutch hummed. They fell into watchful silence, creeping through the halls on the way to their ship.

Johnny sighed. “There she is.” He approached the ship. “Hey, beautiful. Gonna let us in?”

An electronic voice came through the communication system. “Of course, Johnny. Anything for you.” The boarding ramp lowered.

Dutch scowled at her partner and the ship. “You remember this is _my_ ship, right?”

“Sure she is, Dutch.”

“Unbelievable.”

Dutch and Johnny passed the loading bay, running to the cockpit. Dutch settled into the pilot’s seat and Johnny stood behind her, checking the monitors. Johnny paused.

“That feel too easy to you?”

“Strap in so I can get us moving,” Dutch hissed.

They detached the ship from the docking bay quickly, flying out into the darkness of space.

Johnny was holding his breath. Dutch was breathing perfectly evenly, in four counts, hold for seven, out for eight, repeat.

Stillness.

Dutch breathed.

More stillness.

Johnny let out his breath with a laugh. “Well okay then! Look who got away with—”

The sharp impact of lasers against the portside of the ship cut Johnny off.

Or maybe falling on his face did that. Either/or.

“Johnny, you idiot, I told you to strap in,” Dutch yelled, engaging evasive maneuvers.

Johnny pushed himself to all fours and groaned. His nose bled freely onto the gleaming metal floor. “I was busy.”

“And you could be _dead_.”

“Is this really the time?”

“Since the pursuit is your fault, I think this is as good a time as any.”

Johnny’s head snapped up with an offended inhale. “This is not _my_ fault! Who was it again who took the warrant on the richest man outside the Quad? And then broke into his office and stole all his joy?”

“And who was it who triggered the alarm when we were actually getting the files?” Dutch threw the ship into a barely controlled roll. Johnny crashed back down and grabbed the base of the pilot’s chair. Dutch valiantly resisted kicking his hand. “It’s not like getting the money slowed us down! And the warrant didn't say we _couldn't_ do it. You were busy on the file encryption. I was killing time!”

“And now they're going to be killing us,” Johnny clambered to his feet and threw himself into the co-pilot’s chair. He looked out at space, and something caught his eye. “Give me the controls, I want to try something.”

“All yours.” Dutch stood and darted out of the cockpit.

“Whoa,” Johnny yelled, hands flying over the controls. “You could have warned me,” he shouted in Dutch’s general direction. He heard distant laughter and didn't bother to fight down his answering grin.

Johnny pulled the ship down, flipping end over end, one hand battling with the stabilizers. Warning alarms began going off in the ship. Johnny laughed nervously, but continued flipping the ship over.

The alarms reached a worrying pitch; the engines started shaking. He didn’t level out; instead, he threw the switches forward, sending the ship into a shaky, harsh, groaning flip.

“What are you doing?” Dutch shouted from the other side of the door, somehow managing to enter the room easily despite the ship’s rebellion. She ran to the pilot’s chair and strapped herself in.

Johnny grunted. “Just one second.”

Dutch snorted derisively. “I took out most of the ships on our tail, but the last has better shields than I could breach.”

Johnny nodded. “Okay. That’s fine, I can lose ‘em here if I just—” he jerked the ship sharply to the side, into an asteroid field.

Dutch clamped her hands onto the chair, but her face stayed calm.

Johnny navigated the asteroids easily.

“Look out!”

Mostly easily.

Quickly enough, they made it to the other side of the field, breathing hard like they’d just been running. Johnny looked out at the asteroid field, squinting his eyes and tilting his head. That was...surprisingly easy. Huh. Something to think about, maybe.

Johnny turned a bright grin on Dutch. “Ha,” he said, panting, “I got us out.”

Dutch nodded and tucked back a single stray hair. She was cool, relaxed, and composed, impressive as ever. Johnny’s heart beat a little funny, but he ignored it like he always did. “Yes you did.” She grinned back. “Good work, partner.”

“Thank you. Although, it was really this beautiful girl who did all the work.” He patted the console.

“Thank you, Johnny.”

Dutch stood up and rolled her eyes. “It’s a ship, not a person.”

“Oh come on,” Johnny said. Dutch snorted and walked out. “She did good work! She deserves a name!”

“You’re not naming my ship, Johnny,” she called back.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. He stood up and turned to go. Then he paused.

“So, hypothetically, if I, uh, _accidentally_ slip up and call you, I don’t know, ‘Lucy’, would you respond?” He raised his eyebrows hopefully at the ceiling.

There was a pause.

Then, “I’d answer to anything you call me, Johnny.”

Johnny grinned. “Aw, yeah, Luce. We are gonna have some fun with this.”

Dutch ran back into the room, armed head to toe. “Johnny! We’re in trouble.”

Johnny winced. “Reinforcements?”

“Looks like it.”

Johnny tsked. “Hey, Lucy, I think we’re gonna need a hand on the defenses.”

“My pleasure, Johnny.”

Dutch paused. “Did you just name my ship? My ship which belongs to me?”

Johnny smiled. “Surprise,” he said, brushing past her. The moment he left the cockpit, he broke into a run.

“Johnny! Johnny, get back here or I swear I will turn you over to those jakkholes myself!”


End file.
